My husband and I had to compromise. We actually had two different receptions. One reception was in a very close, very intimate bed and breakfast with food, very classy, no alcohol (for my stepmother's family). The second reception, at a family member's house, was loud and alcoholic and cook-out-y. The nice thing about the second reception thing was that I could disappear as I needed. Fortunately, I didn't have to. I was so excited and happy about everything, I really needed very little down time. I know that my SPD symptoms are not nearly as problematic as some folks, though, so your mileage may vary.