My daughter was diagnosed with SPD when she was a toddler. She has managed her over-responsivity well for years. Now that she has started high school, she is struggling. When triggered, she has such a physical reaction. She almost wants to scratch herself out of her own skin. Since she was little, she has described it as the "itchies" under her skin. She rubs her legs and arms with intensity and scratches herself. I recently bought her a body soc, but she refuses to use it "in the moment". The last two weeks have been difficult for us. She came home one day from school and just seemed exhausted and sobbed for hours. She didn't know why (depression). I believe that the pressure of high school and all of the honors classes she is taking is a part of the problem. However, she is determined to stay in these classes. She currently has straight A's in all classes. I am reaching out to see if you have had others who complain of this "itchiness." If so, what can I do? She no longer likes the brushing and refuses to let me massage her. She is so sensitive to touch during these episodes. Sometimes she lets me massage her hands and that helps. I try to get the deep pressure in any way that I can. I also have had success with rubbing her back - when she will let me. PLEASE offer any advice. We are struggling so much with this. I am so heartbroken over her struggles. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Maybe distract her with an art? Does she like to paint or draw? Or do another form of art that requires you to use your body? Like maybe even dancing, or swimming, or something? Also, let her know that it's ok, sometimes things suck and it's ok to need to help. I am here for you always. If you need your alone time, tell me and I will respect that, however, every hour I will check on you to make sure that you are safe. Sometimes distractions help you to be not so in your head. That and let her know that her grades don't define her, get her to understand that you love her no matter what. Sometimes teens can put pressures on themselves that aren't reasonable. However too, like also be aware of bulling. That also could be triggering her, but she might not be able to tell you thinking that it's a failure on her part, but let her know that you are on her side. That way if she is having a problem like that she will be more willing to open up. Maybe to share examples of situations where the girl might think she "deserved to be treated a certain way" and explain to her why that isn't the case. That no one deserves to be abused. I'm not sure of your situation, but want you to be aware of all the reasons that might cause a breakdown. I don't want to worry you, just to be able to have you ask the right questions.

(07-04-2018, 08:26 AM)Gudetama Wrote: Maybe distract her with an art? Does she like to paint or draw? Or do another form of art that requires you to use your body? Like maybe even dancing, or swimming, or something? Also, let her know that it's ok, sometimes things suck and it's ok to need to help. I am here for you always. If you need your alone time, tell me and I will respect that, however, every hour I will check on you to make sure that you are safe. Sometimes distractions help you to be not so in your head. That and let her know that her grades don't define her, get her to understand that you love her no matter what. Sometimes teens can put pressures on themselves that aren't reasonable. However too, like also be aware of bulling. That also could be triggering her, but she might not be able to tell you thinking that it's a failure on her part, but let her know that you are on her side. That way if she is having a problem like that she will be more willing to open up. Maybe to share examples of situations where the girl might think she "deserved to be treated a certain way" and explain to her why that isn't the case. That no one deserves to be abused. I'm not sure of your situation, but want you to be aware of all the reasons that might cause a breakdown. I don't want to worry you, just to be able to have you ask the right questions.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! My daughter was very involved in art - sculpting. She did stop so maybe getting her back into it is a good idea. She also acts, and that helps. She does know that she is loved very much and that she has a lot of support; however, during her episodes that cause a physical reaction, she over-responds so much. She is sensitive to touch and is hypersensitive to others. Leaving her alone is best while reminding her that you are close by when she settles down and needs you. It is so frustrating that we don't know why this happens to her. I was just wondering if anyone out there had similar issues and possible successes. Again, I can not thank you enough for your reply. It was so thoughtful and touched on many possible triggers. Your efforts to help are heartfelt.

Maybe too if like she needs a physical safe space, you can make one for her that she can go to that will help block everything out? Or even something as simple as putting a sign on her door, saying "I need my me time" or something so that she knows she can get away fully when she needs to, at least at home. With touch would wearing gloves or something help? I know there are girls online who post videos of their retry style, and maybe a barrier like that, while doing a full look would help it blend in better? With my touch sensitivity I put a lot of lotion on and that seems to help my skin feel the air and not freak out. Especially my feet and hands, when they are dry it's like I'm going out of my skin. I once had a freak out because I didn't have any in my purse. (A few years ago and I was an adult back then too. >.< Like you get from the outside how ridiculous you might seem to other people, but in that moment, it's more like a panic attack, and that part of you can't control you anymore. If that makes sense?) I think normal people would see something like that and brush it off, but when need certain things to comfort you, it's important to have them. Maybe see if you can find a thing that's like that for her? (It also helps if you do this, to have sinks that aren't just round nobs, but have some kind of handle or spoke to them, otherwise it's hard sometimes to turn the sink on or off.) Sometimes even round doorknobs are hard for me because my hand just slips around them. lol Also, thanks, I'm not a therapist but I can understand what it feels like because I feel it too. My mom has helped me a lot by not doing things that she knows I am not ok with, like making sure I always had clothes that felt good on my skin. Maybe too like she might respond to sounds? Like find something, music, waves, asmr, or whatever she likes, so that she can use that as a way to help block out other people. Sometimes that helps me relax when I'm stressed. That and at school, maybe she can ask to be excused to go to the nurse when things get bad? That way she can go there and have some space to help her calm back down? Just explain to the school why this is happening and if they try to be thick about it, bring up the ADA (US) or whatever laws in your country that are like that and threaten them to behave properly. Sometimes even with schools that should know better, you have to set people straight, you know? Since SPD isn't really recognized maybe you can have her doctors say she has an anxiety disorder or something? That way they have to be nice to your daughter and give her the tools that she needs.

One of my patients was in the same situation and unfortunately, I didn't know how to react when I was faced with it for the first time.