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New here with some questions
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GCMom Offline
Regular

Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2012
#1
New here with some questions

I am new here and so happy to find this site. I am looking forward to sharing advise and support with you all.

After many years of trying to figure out my four year old daughter's behaviors, she was diagnosed with SPD a few week ago. She is hyposensitive and sensory seeking but has some characteristics of hypersensitivity as well.

She also has some other issues going on so I am trying to figure out what is SPD and what is not. I was hoping some of you can share with me what you or your children experience so I can try to figure out what is what.

I read a previous post about having meltdowns after school. Could you please describe what your child's meltdown looks like or what it looked like at 4 years old and what type of SPD your child has? We are really struggling with this after preschool but I don't know if there is more to it then SPD.

If you were to take your child somewhere that he is she is not familiar with or has a lot of people around, what would his or her reaction be (or what would it have been at 4)?

Also, does your child switch back and forth from good days and bad days? That's the hardest part for us to cope with. You never know what you are going to get. And there is no trigger we can identify. Does anyone else experience this?

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences.
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Tuttleturtle Offline
Regular

Posts: 223
Joined: Jan 2012
#2
RE: New here with some questions

I can't exactly answer your questions as you want, but maybe my answers will help give you some information.

I'm a 22 year old with SPD (and Asperger's Syndrome). I've never actually dealt with children with SPD, but I can answer for myself, and some might help you understand her better.

Quote:I read a previous post about having meltdowns after school. Could you please describe what your child's meltdown looks like or what it looked like at 4 years old and what type of SPD your child has? We are really struggling with this after preschool but I don't know if there is more to it then SPD.

I can't tell you what my meltdowns were like when I was 4. I actually don't remember much in the way of meltdowns until I was older (they really got worse after I went to college).

However, I can say that my meltdowns are overwhelming hopelessness, irritation at people, why won't things go my way, unable to deal with anything around me. I sob, I scream, I don't feel like there's any hope. I don't feel like anyone cares about me (even when my boyfriend is waiting for me to calm down so he can help me get over it). It'll sometimes be 'why am I so worthless', it'll sometimes be screaming at others, it'll sometimes be both.

I don't know how useful this is because I associate my meltdowns more with the whole being autistic part than the SPD subpart.

Quote:If you were to take your child somewhere that he is she is not familiar with or has a lot of people around, what would his or her reaction be (or what would it have been at 4)?

When I was young I was focused on my parents, I'm sure. I was very clingy. I also apparently when put on a toddler leash decided I must be a dog and would crawl around barking.

I need something that I'm used to to ground me. I think this was also true when I was young, then it was my parents, now its my boyfriend. If I'm alone its an entirely different situation than if he's there with me.


Quote:Also, does your child switch back and forth from good days and bad days? That's the hardest part for us to cope with. You never know what you are going to get. And there is no trigger we can identify. Does anyone else experience this?

This is why I wanted to respond. I can tell you from others watching me, and from my own perception, this is something that's strongly true for me. I've identified some of my triggers, but I still don't know when I'll be more hypersensitive, when I'll be having a harder emotional time, or when I'm having a good day.

Identifiying large classes of things that help me when I'm having a bad day has helped for this, especially when they're things that are nice for both good and bad days. I react very well to water. I also react very well to animals. This means I have a waterproof kindle case, have a cat (kitty! She's amazing), and others know to push me towards things in those larger sets of things.

I'd guess some of it has triggers that could theoretically be identified. I know my skin is more hypersensitive when the air is dry when I sleep. If I keep a humidifier running, then my skin is less likely to have the days of even more overreaction than normal. This took experimenting to figure out, but once we figured it out there was a coping skill that just needed to keep the habit of keeping the humidifier filled. Noises bother me more when I'm hungry. Smells bother me always.

It might be harder to identify in someone who's hyposensitive, I'm not sure, but observation and experimentation can help figure out those triggers, and if you only get one or two, that can still help.

However, yes, I do in fact definitely do that. It's actually one of the things I feel guiltier about. I'm okay with pulling away, I'm not okay with pulling away from things that a half hour previously would have been fine. I feel like its unfair to people around me.

Hopefully you also get responses from parents, but also hopefully this might help a little, from the point of view of the SPD person themselves Smile. (Though unfortunately, I'm very hypersensitive, not at all hyposensitive, though I am seeking)
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Valkyrie Offline
Regular

Posts: 31
Joined: Jun 2011
#3
RE: New here with some questions

Hi GCMom Smile

My son is both Hyper and Hypo...

Socks are a major trigger for my son - if his socks "bug" he can wig out so bad it terrifies me. He has gone so far as to beating his head against the wall as he says it is preferable to the feeling his socks give him. Also his hair, we can not even tussle his hair - he claims we are yanking his hair out. Until he turned ten he wore nothing but jogging pants. If we tried any other types they sent him into meltdown mode. Anything that is sticky touching him creates a crisis for him. He also has 22 food allergies that cause nausea, migraines and coughing. Smells that are dis pleasurable for him cause vomiting. Unexpected noises startle him badly.

My sons reaction to unfamiliar places would be to make lots of noise and hand flap, he would also run forward four or five steps while doing the first things I mentioned there.

He loves to crash and bang his body about - to the point of serious injuries sometimes and he would not even realize he was hurt. He once broke his arm and I had to argue with the emergency room docs that I KNOW his arm was broken - they said impossible as he was playing and bearing weight on it. They later came out and shook my hand and said I was a good mom for fighting them. Indeed - his arm was hairline fractured wrist to elbow and any more bangs could completely break it - he was in a cast for 6 months (3 months plaster, 3 months soft)

On the flip side, he is clingy, loves to hug (and unfortunately I am opposite - I do not like hugs) and he loves to kiss (issues for me there too). After school he would usually melt down over homework - he would hold it together at school but when he came home to his safe environment he would let it all out. Mostly it would be whining, or crying - sometimes very angry or a mix of all three.

And yes - we have good days and bad days, never sure to know for certain how it would go. Best I can say there is take it one day at a time. Little things you may be unaware of can cause tress to your child - something you may not even notice, like the ticking of a clock. Flickering sunlight. Humming of a computer. Certain colors or patterns, may be visually sensitive.

Not sure if anything I said was too helpful - but I am hoping. My best to you and your family Smile
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Marci Offline
Regular

Posts: 88
Joined: Jul 2011
#4
RE: New here with some questions

(02-17-2012, 11:26 PM)GCMom Wrote: Also, does your child switch back and forth from good days and bad days? That's the hardest part for us to cope with. You never know what you are going to get. And there is no trigger we can identify. Does anyone else experience this?

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences.
The difference for my son between good days and horrible days is diet. Under his neurologist's care, he's basically doing very well, except when he doesn't eat right. That means he gets protein 3 meals/day, especially at breakfast, no high sugar foods - especially not sweet cereal - but plenty of healthy carbs like lentils and beans. I can't ever let him get too hungry - if a meal is going to be late he has to have a snack while he's waiting. He also has food allergies and celiac disease, which means he's on a special diet, but even before we began that I saw a clear pattern between diet and behavior.

You might try keeping a food diary, listing not only everything your child eats for the day but roughly what was in it. Look for patterns, like reacting to food dyes (most cereals aimed at kids are loaded with dye), problems with high glycemic meals (simple sugar - rapidly digested and "burned off" followed by a crash when the blood sugar drops), etc. I kept a food diary for my son for about 5 years because of his medical problems, and it was a great tool for learning about him.
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Jaffa Offline
Regular

Posts: 112
Joined: Oct 2011
#5
RE: New here with some questions

My 5 yr old has SPD and he has been seen by a dietician from an early age. He can't eat wheat, gluten and soy and a year ago he started back on dairy. He was a nightmare before we took food off him.
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GCMom Offline
Regular

Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2012
#6
RE: New here with some questions

Thanks so much to everyone for your replies. I am really struggling with the "off and on" and "no rhyme or reason" right now so it helps to hear it's normal for SPD (although it's still annoying). Tuttleturtle, I really appreciate your insight. My daughter can't yet describe what she's feeling so it's very helpful to hear from those who have SPD.
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Digrr Offline
Newbie

Posts: 3
Joined: Feb 2012
#7
RE: New here with some questions

Hi!

I have a 4 year old preschooler as well. I dread dressing in the morning, mealtimes, leaving the house, getting shoes on at preschool, leaving preschool, and after nap time.

We've had a few after school meltdowns. They all occur in the hallway of school while getting ready. One of them occurred because her nail was broken and she wanted it cut and I didn't have any nail clippers on me. She started crying and screaming and jumping up and down and refusing to put on any other article of clothing (it's winter here, I'm in Albera, Canada). Another instance was when she had broken her head band in class and I told her it was garbage now and made her put it in the garbage. That was one of the biggest meltdowns I've seen from her. Screaming, crying, running away, hitting, kicking, refusing to put on clothing. I ended up carrying her and her brother and her backpack and her boots to the almost the van then I couldn't carry her any more and asked her if she was willing to put on her boots 'NO'. So I left her in the snow, then she was screaming because she was wet and cold!

She does have good days and bad days. She seems to go through cycles of good and bad. She can have 2 weeks at a time where she has very little meltdowns, or weeks where she can have upwards of 15 meltdowns a day. It seems if she starts off the morning with a meltdown then her whole day is a wash.

Some times we know her triggers, but if I'm downstairs and she's upstairs I may not get there in time to see what the trigger was. As much as we ask her she will not answer, she'll change subjects!

Her triggers change too. Right now it seems to be clothing, a couple weeks ago it was anything I asked of her would either be NO, I DON'T WANT TO or instant meltdown. She frequently has a 1 hour meltdown every morning.

She doesn't have issues with new places - in fact, she thrives on them. She's EXTREMELY extroverted and will talk to, touch, anyone and anything! She has no fear.
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