Hi my name is Arlenea and my 6 year old has SPD and was diagnosed in November 2009 and has been going to an Occupational Therapist.

I have seen improvement in him but since he comes from a broken family it is hard to keep him on track. His father doesn't believe that SPD is the source of his behavior problems and won't participate in his therapy.

The reason I'm here is to get support because essentially I'm doing this alone and I get very frustrated at times especially when he has come back from his dad's house.

So thank you for having me in your forum and I look forward to meeting some great people.

Hi Arlenea ,

It's Dan here, from AllAboutKids. Thank you so much for joining, I hope this place becomes a great beacon of light for so many of us here.

(06-04-2010, 06:04 PM)arlenea92 Wrote: I have seen improvement in him but since he comes from a broken family it is hard to keep him on track. His father doesn't believe that SPD is the source of his behavior problems and won't participate in his therapy.

Well, I'm sorry to hear all of this. It can be pretty rough to get some people on board. A lot of the time, it seems, it's the fathers who aren't the most accepting of the diagnosis or supportive of the therapy. All I can say for the most part on this matter is that you are certainly not alone in those regards. I can't tell you how many mothers have told me their spouse is not being very supportive of them.

What I do want to say though, is that you are in like company here, and we know you are doing the right things; doing what it takes to get the help your son so badly needs. You are doing a great job, this is not an easy battle at all.

Quote:The reason I'm here is to get support because essentially I'm doing this alone and I get very frustrated at times especially when he has come back from his dad's house.

I can understand this, for sure. Going it alone is never easy. Going it alone with an SPD child can quickly seem like a real life nightmare, can't it? Well, I hope this place is able to provide you the help and support you need to not feel so alone in this journey.

Just curious, have anything you like to do in your spare time? Any interests of your own? Sometimes, with all the hectic stuff that happens when your raising a kid like this, someone ends up getting lost in the mix: you! Here we can discuss it all, so feel free to chat about whatever you want here. It's important to remember that SPD does not rule your life, no matter how much it may seem to.

Take good care, and I hope to get to know you better on here, as well .
Hope you enjoy your time on SPDI!

(06-04-2010, 06:14 PM)D1G1T Wrote: Hi Arlenea ,

It's Dan here, from AllAboutKids. Thank you so much for joining, I hope this place becomes a great beacon of light for so many of us here.

(06-04-2010, 06:04 PM)arlenea92 Wrote: I have seen improvement in him but since he comes from a broken family it is hard to keep him on track. His father doesn't believe that SPD is the source of his behavior problems and won't participate in his therapy.

Well, I'm sorry to hear all of this. It can be pretty rough to get some people on board. A lot of the time, it seems, it's the fathers who aren't the most accepting of the diagnosis or supportive of the therapy. All I can say for the most part on this matter is that you are certainly not alone in those regards. I can't tell you how many mothers have told me their spouse is not being very supportive of them.

What I do want to say though, is that you are in like company here, and we know you are doing the right things; doing what it takes to get the help your son so badly needs. You are doing a great job, this is not an easy battle at all.

Quote:The reason I'm here is to get support because essentially I'm doing this alone and I get very frustrated at times especially when he has come back from his dad's house.

I can understand this, for sure. Going it alone is never easy. Going it alone with an SPD child can quickly seem like a real life nightmare, can't it? Well, I hope this place is able to provide you the help and support you need to not feel so alone in this journey.

Just curious, have anything you like to do in your spare time? Any interests of your own? Sometimes, with all the hectic stuff that happens when your raising a kid like this, someone ends up getting lost in the mix: you! Here we can discuss it all, so feel free to chat about whatever you want here. It's important to remember that SPD does not rule your life, no matter how much it may seem to.

Take good care, and I hope to get to know you better on here, as well .
Hope you enjoy your time on SPDI!

Well right now I'm unemployed and without a car so I don't get to do much for myself. But when I can borrow someone's car I like to go and get pedicures and manicures.

I have been unemployed for almost 2 years now but I truly believe that God is looking over me and that being home for my son is what I'm suppose to be doing except for the unemployment money is going to run out soon.

I'm getting ready to move tomorrow so that I'm closer to my son's dad's house because of not having a car.

Today has been particularly challenging because all of our stuff is packed and the pool has a leak. So we are at a loss as what to do. Right now my son is playing with the hose and seems to be having a good time and he is doing that only because I had to get him out of the house and away from the tv.

I hope to talk to as many of you as I can to get some advice on how to handle the tantrums.

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I would also like to ask what are some ways to control my son's behavior at school?

(06-04-2010, 06:31 PM)arlenea92 Wrote: Well right now I'm unemployed and without a car so I don't get to do much for myself. But when I can borrow someone's car I like to go and get pedicures and manicures.

Ah, cool. Well, the last part is cool, not the 'not having a car' part . That just makes everything 10,000 times harder, right?

Quote:I have been unemployed for almost 2 years now but I truly believe that God is looking over me and that being home for my son is what I'm suppose to be doing except for the unemployment money is going to run out soon.

You know, kids with SPD really do need someone to be there for them a lot, more than is already true with kids in general. What you said there about God looking over you... I would have to agree with that. That's a lot like how my mom has felt the past several years, as she hasn't been working while she has made sure my younger brother and I get to and from therapy.

That's right, I'm young, lol. 22, a little on the old side to still be at home, but 19 year old brother is here as well, and he's got a pretty severe case of bipolar disorder with epilepsy (though he's grown out of the epilepsy part). Yeah, so I'm the 'SPD kid (adult now, lol)' in my family .

Quote:I'm getting ready to move tomorrow so that I'm closer to my son's dad's house because of not having a car.

Ouch! Okay, that's rough, having to put yourself closer to a person you left (for good reasons from the sound of it), just so that you can get around.

Quote:Today has been particularly challenging because all of our stuff is packed and the pool has a leak. So we are at a loss as what to do. Right now my son is playing with the hose and seems to be having a good time and he is doing that only because I had to get him out of the house and away from the tv.

Ah, okay. Yeah, I used to love to play with the hose myself, lol. Sorry to hear about the leak, but at least he's able to do something of interest (aka sensory seeking) to him out there.

Quote:I hope to talk to as many of you as I can to get some advice on how to handle the tantrums.

Tantrums = Meltdowns
These are much worse than the typical tantrum. They are elevated, and much more distressing for you and him. If the environment is hard enough for him, they will also be much more consistent. I would definitely talk to his OT about this as well (assume he's seeing an OT?). They should be able to at least offer some ideas, on top of what may be suggested to you online.

Well, hopefully something happens in your life sometime soon to help things improve for you and your son. It's wonderful that you're here, really is. I just know this place can become a good support for you . Take care.

Yeah having to be closer to my son's dad isn't my ideal thing to do but it will be best for my son. I don't want to keep him from his dad but I do want his dad to be a bigger part of his therapy.

Well like I said I feel that God has me staying home so that my son gets what he needs but I will admit I'm a little worried about the money part. I know that I'm not suppose to worry but sometimes I can't help it.

Yes, he is loving that he gets to play in the pool now with the hose while the pool fills back up.

Thanks for welcoming me to the forum.

On the Tantrums, have you tried turning off the lights, changing the room temperature, or handing him a heavy blanket to wrap himself in?

Basically change his current sensory situation to see if that stops what is overloading his system.

For me, my friends and husband know to start with the lights (if I am stunned), then try raising the room temperature (I get cold easily), and then just throwing blankets and jackets at me (temperature raising and sensory pressure helps me center my self).

If those don't work, I have an "off switch" on my right shoulder blade. If someone presses it hard, I completely shut down for 30 seconds to 5 minutes and when I come back I am mostly fine.

Additionally, if there is a lot of noise in the room when your son is melting down, I reccommend turning off what you can, asking people to whisper, and moving your son to a more quiet location.

Does your son have a dark quiet place where he could go hide if he is overwhelmed?