Becoming a parent is both wonderful and challenging! Everyone talks about how much work infants are and the the lack of sleep in the beginning. But no one talks about heartache you'll feel for your children as the grow.

I got the mail the other day and noticed that there was a birthday party invite (Bounce U invitation). I didn't even have to look at who it was addressed to, I knew that it was for my younger son. I guess I was having a very sensitive day because immediately tears came to my eyes and I had to bite back a sob.

My older son with SPD gets invited to another child's birthday party *maybe* once a year, and some of those are actually friends of my younger son but they invited siblings too. Younger son gets invites about 5-7 times a year. My older son has started noticing in the last year or so that he doesn't get many birthday party invites or doesn't have very many friends. My heart breaks when he cries, "Why doesn't anyone like me? Why don't I have any friends?" I try to reassure him, but I don't know what to do sometimes. Right now, he does have one friend in his class and he plays a lot with his cousin who is 2 years older than him.

He's in 4th grade now. I told him that I didn't have any really good, long-term friends until 5th grade. That's when I met 3 other girls and we stayed friends until our senior year. I never had a huge amount of friends but I had the 3 of them. One of them, I still keep in regular contact with and see her and her family about once a year. I wish sometimes that I could see into the future to know that he'll find a good friend to do things with and confide in. I know he'll never be the most popular kid in school, but I just hope that he can find someone to connect with and won't be the loner always hanging in the shadows.

Just needed to vent and be the worrying mom...